Thursday, January 7, 2010

it's safe not to tell


This past few days, I’ve done so many crazy things that I cannot imagine I could have done it. I was too down coz I’m in search of my missing self and soul. yearning inside my heart for affirmation. I was so addictive, a happiness finder (I always reminding myself not to search my own happiness, it was a desire, I don’t deserve it!) and at a moment I found an escape, an escape I never thought I could do it even in my wildest dreams. It started on new years eve, everyone was so busy having a great time with the people they loved most, greetings, hugs, kisses are all around them (including me), but in a bit of a second when all the fireworks and sounds of happiness gone, I found myself doing so crazy things I never thought I could (I don’t want to mention what it is..Hehehe (it’s not your secret to share)), but in my part, no regrets, I’ve done it and I know I’m the one who is accountable in my own actions. I did an irrevocable mistake but I have gained a great lesson afterwards, I do these crazy stuffs, illogical and unreasonable things. I did it for myself and not for others, and I don’t care if others may know all about it, besides who can tell my own story better than me, I am the one who knows the whole story of my life, no one could just simply write a book and publish their own bible if they don’t know what are the foundation of making it. I just hope that what I did will be my failure in forward way.

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