i feel like im in Hades!

i was so desolate,
i can't breathe,
i can't handle myself,
my scruples keep on hunting me,
it is just a simple contact that lead me to this,
a contact that is inadvertently done,
am i so conceited?
or am i just a bag of fool?
i don't tend to come this far,
i thought it is just a simple clash between him and me,
but the culpability is mine,
I've lost 1 of my comrade because of my pride,
because of my pathetic judgement.
i am thinking if i am still deserving of his friendship,
i can see all the efforts,
the sacrifices,
the pride of a man being swallowed by him,
but why cant i swallow mine?

before this time comes,
a hundred times I've tried to approach him,
to talk to him, yet, again,
i was shielded by my high views,
what can i do?
this is me, but wait, no!
i must start to eat and swallow the dust i have made.
to build another friendship
that could run along the end...
i have to do my part...
soon...