I have this feeling of being left out… of being abandoned and stuck in a pedestal. This is not my place, I used to be in wilderness and do what I want to do, at the same time get what I want and never beg for it, but now, standing here in a shapeless desert I felt like a sand that when the wind blows I would go with it. No direction. No space of authority to do good and think for my own… In the past few days of being here, I just remembered the past, somewhere I saw my refuge, at least there I saw myself whole. Not like now, that even in the center of this desert, the rain inside my heart never stop, it keeps on pouring and begging for clemency to stop for a while.
What I want to do by now is to hope, not to change the past but to look for something better for myself and for everybody… that one bad wolf cant ruin the goodness inside me and a bitch and gold digger fox cant even steal the knowledge and kindness I already owned. I don’t consider them as an adversary but a good fate that I am so grateful to welcome over and over again inside my circle.
Maybe I’m just me, I’m just a typical provincial girl, a typical woman, a commoner. I don’t have those attitude and character they said they have, I don’t have the loveliness they get proud of, but I’m better than them.