I feel so insecure, feel so used, and feel so taken for granted (it is because i am). I wish I could go back and stole just a second to erase that moment, that moment where all these hurts started. Where all the hatred and selfishness ruled.
Bad words that had never spoken and doubt embracing my heart.
But unfortunately,
it can’t be.
I just wanted to delete all the insecurities.
I hate her; I hate her for being so flirt, for being so insensitive, I hate her for being so dumb! I hate everything about her...
and I hate him for being so safe, for being so immature, for being so ****** , I hate him for being so good to her, I hate him for being so great to her, I hate him for being so childish, I hate him for being so rude to me, I hate him for every reason because of her
(forgive me my Lord)
I hate that moment; it keeps on hunting me almost every second of my life.
I can feel the scar flecked not just in my mind and heart but in my soul, I don’t know how to find myself and renew the broken faith and trust for in my own opinion it leaves a deepest mark and no one can change whatever I felt right now.
God only knows how I’ve tried to ignore this one, but for now, for now, I think I can’t find the answer.
I hope someday it will serve as a tool to strengthen my faith…
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